A Weighty Issue, Part Two
June 20th, 2008(This post is the second in a two-part series on physical attractiveness and the effects of how you look. Part one was about the data involved and some basic findings. Part two will talk about my personal experience with beauty and dieting, and how you can use the information I found to your advantage.)
Last time I talked about the book “Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined”, by Gordon Patzer. I also talked about why looks do in fact matter, and how well researched the author’s claims were. (Reading the first part is a must to fully understand this one. Please take the time to check it out if you haven’t.)
One logical response to all this talk about looks is to experiment with plastic surgery and other drastic measures to augment your looks. Yet Patzer says this is wrong. What gives?
Well, Patzer’s response (as far as I can tell) is to try to fight “lookism” in the U.S. and be less focused on appearance. But, at the same time, he argues that these shallow tendencies we have are the product of thousands of years of biological and social evolution. So I don’t really see that happening. Nevertheless, Patzer puts forth the contradictory conclusion that we shouldn’t judge books by their covers. (I bought his book on Amazon purely off recommendations, so I’m doing my part.)
Not surprisingly, his contradictory conclusions aren’t backed up by much data. There’s a lot of opinions and speculation thrown in, instead. I felt vindicated when I read the Amazon reviews of his book that said much the same thing.
Why won’t Patzer follow through his claims to their logical conclusion? I’m not sure. Maybe he feels unattractive. Or perhaps he thinks “lookism” is unfair to those less blessed in physical attractiveness (PA). Or maybe he’s being contrarian. I couldn’t tell you. Whatever the reason, without much convincing data or arguments for a conclusion that, frankly, flies in the face of great research data and explanations, I feel I have to reject what Patzer concludes.
Given that we can’t or shouldn’t change our perceptions about PA, the only real response left (that I can think of) is to be aware of how we think and how we can look better. As I mentioned in the last post, it’s most important that men be tall and women be thin. Let’s start with the men.
How can men be taller? The most direct solution is through leg extension surgery. However, reading a few quick links about leg lengthening made it obvious to me that the surgery is incredibly expensive and painful, putting it out of the reach of most people. (You can read more about the actual surgery here.) Plus, if you’re over 5′9″ like I am, you have to go out of the U.S. to get the procedure done. That’s besides the fact you have to be out of work the entire time you recover and later have to explain to everyone why you’re suddenly 3 inches taller. (What can you say? “I hit a mid-life growth spurt?” “Maybe you just got shorter?”) I guess if you were from a wealthy family and you really wanted to, you could. Otherwise, this may not be an option. (Insurance won’t cover leg extension surgery for cosmetic reasons.)
What else can the men do, then? Well, you can have good posture, for one thing. That’s a free way to increase your height if you slouch, and it’s good for other reasons too. You can also wear taller shoes (which women figured out a long time ago), preferably shoes with large platforms so you don’t have to squish your toes. Or you can wear insoles, which I do for comfort reasons (though the extra half inch in height probably doesn’t hurt). Or you can try a hairstyle that’s puffed up so you look taller.
And, surprisingly enough, you can try being charming and charismatic. I read a study a while back (which I can’t find now) saying that well-liked public speakers were, after the fact, perceived to be 2-3 inches taller than they in fact were. I imagine this applies in general. If you’re a guy, anyone who likes you probably thinks you’re taller than you are. (Maybe that’s where the saying “it seemed he stood 10 feet tall” comes from?)
We may have a limited influence on our height, but there’s at least a few things us men can do. You can also work on other lesser aspects of PA to tilt things in your favor. You can grow longer and healthier hair, grow a nice beard, work out and get moderate-sized muscles (not too big), and of course you can always be thinner if you’re overweight.
But weight is much more important for women. It’s the number one aspect of women’s looks that men pay attention to. Ladies, how can you be thinner, then? Considering that 2/3rds of people in the U.S. are overweight (and 61.5% of women), maybe there’s not any good ways. It’s striking that only 8.5% less women than men are overweight, given their extraordinary motivation to lose weight.
Nevertheless, there’s a multi-billion dollar weight loss industry dedicated to helping women (and men) do just that. Of course, it’s a fairly simple problem with a fairly simple solution. Eat less.
That’s not news to anyone, to be sure. If it were that easy to do, everyone would, and no one would be ordering hamburgers without buns. So what are the problems here? First of all, despite what you may think, exercise alone probably won’t help you lose weight. Sure, you’ll burn off some calories and maybe increase your metabolism, while at the same time reducing your appetite. But it’s not nearly enough. If you want to lose weight, you have. to. eat. less. No way to get around it.
The best way to do this is portion control. When I went to both Japan and China, almost everyone there was at a healthy weight. (Though they’re getting fatter by the day.) Why? It’s not like their genes are that much different than ours. They simply have a culture that encourages smaller portions. (And in China, they’re poorer, too.)
In a more extreme vein, calorie restriction may extend your life over and above any health benefits it may have, by slowing down aging. So it’s a great deal all around. Eat less, live a longer, healthier life. The Economist had it right when they said, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” (Their source was Thomas Jefferson.)
So why do people keep overeating? It obviously has something to do with our culture and the fact that we’re a rich nation. We’re mostly the same people we were 50 years ago, except now we’re a lot fatter. That’s probably in part because our portions are often bigger now and we have the money to afford to buy them.
On top of that, people often have an emotional relationship with food. Some say that because of our excessive prohibition of drugs in the U.S., many people’s last indulgence is food. (Especially if you’re Mormon!) If you’re addicted to food, or it is a major source of happiness for you, it would only make sense that you might overindulge.
But what would I know about that? I’m a guy, so my weight is less important. And I’ve always been skinny anyway. What would I know about diets and losing weight?
Since I used to wrestle in high school, I’ve actually had a lot of experience with dieting. And not just any diets. If you’ve known a wrestler personally in your life, you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about going days without any food or water. I’m talking about running 3 miles in 3 sets of sweats in 85 degree heat. I’m talking about losing 10 pounds in a day and 18 in two days. That was no mean feat for me, since I was averaging 4% body fat before my diets, which is just above the “dangerous” level.
I’ve been so dehydrated my skin has lost its elasticity. When I’d pull on the skin on my hand, it wouldn’t go back. I’d stop sweating and salivating. When you drink water at that point, it tastes sweet, like soda. And I’ve been so hungry that I don’t remember eating. “Inhaling” was more like it. (And I was far from the most extreme dieter I knew. Plenty of guys took laxatives and ran for hours in garbage bag suits, which I never did.) So I’m well acquainted with emotional responses to food and the overwhelming pressure to be thin.
It’s not pleasant, that’s for sure. Your mind can play strange tricks on you when you’re that deprived. That’s why crash diets mostly don’t work - your body is extremely good at talking you into feeding yourself.
In my struggle to be thin, I also saw that it was much easier to stay at a constant weight than to try and lose it all in a couple of days. That’s why a long-term solution is best. And that means, more than anything else, eating smaller portions at each meal. I’ve been doing this for years (since I read about the benefits of calorie restriction), and now I hardly notice. Smaller meals fill me up, and everything just works out. (This also makes it easier for me to be vegetarian, since vegetarian meals often have less calories.) Eating “low density foods” like lettuce, potato chips, and popcorn (without too much butter, oil, and fat, of course) are great for this.
But limiting your portions means weaning yourself off food for pleasure seeking. Eating smaller portions (even if they’re good) won’t give you the same kind of emotional response that binging will. Eating then becomes a decidedly less emotional experience. If you’re committed to eating less, you may need to find your kicks elsewhere. Many people fill that gap with exercise, including me, but however you dieters decide to do it, eating less at each meal is key.
Still, there are other ways for women to increase their looks besides weight loss. You can’t do too much about your breast size and hip-waist ratio past a certain point, and your age is obviously out of your control. (Though you can control how young you look and how fast you age, somewhat.) But, women, you can have long, healthy hair. There’s not much to say about this since most women care a lot about their hair already. However, when it’s hot outside and you’re thinking about a haircut, keep in mind that your longer hair may be worth it in the long run. (I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a girl that I thought looked better with short hair.)
Something else women could try is (like men) increasing their charm. If charming men are seen as taller, maybe charming women could be seen as thinner, too? It doesn’t seem too far-fetched to me, at least.
Of course, there are also lots of options for plastic surgery. That’s not something I could recommend personally (especially since the procedures are often dangerous and expensive), but I figure that I should at least bring it up. If you can get an operation that will give you more symmetric features, make you thinner, and for women, augment your breasts, it’s worth considering. Unless you’re already really symmetric, thin, or have large breasts (as a woman!), that is. All of those things make a difference in PA, especially thinness in women.
Having studied economics extensively, obviously there’s a law of diminishing returns here. You should work on the biggest flaws in your PA first (if need be), then work your way down the list if you feel it’s necessary. And you should always weigh (hah) any of these options vs. health, self-image, and monetary concerns, at the very least. There’s also the very real danger of becoming “addicted” to plastic surgery, should you choose to go that route. (An expensive and painful addiction if ever there was one!)
Plus, if you try something like gastric bypass, you may well find that you trade a food addiction for a drug (or other) addiction. All the more reason to treat overeating as a food addiction, I say. (What’s worse is that there’s no quitting food “cold turkey”, which is often the most successful way to quit an addiction.) In fact, some overeaters may even have emotional, impulsive, and/or addictive personalities. Learning to control these addictive urges by eating in moderation might help them in other aspects of their lives.
And that’s all I can really say about improving your PA. Anyone who reads this can definitely try at least a few of the things I’ve mentioned, no matter what your situation is. And if you’re already beautiful, hopefully now you can see exactly why others think that, and have some objective measures about what looks good and what a high PA can do for you. Or you could just post your picture on Hot or Not. I’ll tell you what, I haven’t posted my picture there yet. Getting leg-lengthening surgery on account of a bad score would be a pretty, uh, tall order…
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June 20th, 2008 at 9:53 am
For someone who was once really obese, I found quitting “unconstrained eating” remarkably easy. You mention not being able to change your diet cold turkey the way you can, for example, quit smoking cold turkey. I disagree with you on this point. I definitely recommend changing your eating habits cold turkey. After losing over 100 pounds, it has been remarkably easy to maintain the same, low weight, within about 5-10 pounds, ever since.
Dan, all I meant is that people have to eat. Since you frame the problem not as “eating too much” but as “unconstrained eating”, I can see what you’re getting at. I suppose it would depend on what people’s relationship to food is and how they saw things. Either way, your weight loss is an amazing achievement and I commend you!
- Dave